


Goodbye General

by angeliz_06



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: CT-7567 | Rex Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:21:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26924275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angeliz_06/pseuds/angeliz_06
Summary: Rex is still struggling to cope with the loss of his General after the fall of the Republic.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	Goodbye General

Rex doubted Wolffe or Gregor knew about it.

He doubted they even knew why that day mattered so much to him.

His soft footfalls left behind imprints on the dirt as he steadily walked out of their makeshift home. They had set up a temporary shelter near a cave in the forest. Tomorrow, they would hopefully be moving on to a different planet to escape the Imperials pursuing them.

A soft, cool breeze stung his cheeks, turning them a faint pink as he trekked on, putting distance between himself and his brothers.

Today, he just needed to be alone.

_"You're human, Rex."_

Rex squeezed his eyes shut, stopping in his tracks. Just for a moment, he told himself, no longer than that. The pain would subside eventually, he just had to take a quick breather and he would forget all about it.

He breathed in...

And out.

When he opened his eyes again, he concentrated on the pain the cold winds were causing him rather than his own thoughts. Surprisingly, the latter was the more agonizing of the two to dwell upon. Pushing his feelings down, he forced his feet forward once more.

Left.

Right.

Left...

_"Rex, look at me..."_

He nearly stopped again.

No.

Giving his head a shake, he forged on. If he stopped now, he wouldn't make it to where he needed to go. Once he made it there, he could let it all out. The burning rage, the grief, all that pain he had been keeping to himself since this very day a year ago...

If he let himself remember, if he let himself feel, he wasn't sure if he could keep going.

He didn't just mean keep walking.

"Come on, soldier," he muttered to himself, the phrase coming easily to his lips out of habit. There was a time when he would have uttered those very words to someone else. A brother. A friend. "Almost there, almost there..."

He made it to the hill.

The sunlight was clearer here, drifting onto the branches of trees and reflecting off the water. Its source was setting off into the distance, turning the sky shades of purple, orange, and pink. Rex took a small moment to marvel at the sight before the memories came flooding back. He pushed them aside mercilessly and dragged his gaze away, the moisture welling up in his eyes not going unnoticed.

He allowed himself a few more steps to take him up the hill before collapsing onto the ground. His hands were shaking as he reached up and slid his helmet off his head, thankful that the cool breeze had died away to be replaced by a comforting warmth. The pain didn't leave him though. He steeled himself for what he was about to do.

What he had done every year without fail.

He slid the bag he had been carrying with him off his shoulder and brought out a single picture. The sunlight brought its colors to life in a way the campfire he had used to inspect it with the night before could not. He quickly averted his gaze as he set it down, feeling like he'd just been punched in the gut.

_"I never took you for the sentimental type, Rex."_

Rex paused.

_"You're different. That's what I like about you."_

He reached down and brought the two handheld lights out of his bag. Releasing a trembling breath, he set them on either side of the picture, lighting them, careful not to burn the fragile paper in between.

A single tear fell down his cheeks.

He shut his eyes.

Shame filled his gut. He was a soldier, he shouldn't cry.

_"You're allowed to cry."_

"I'm not supposed to feel this way, General," he whispered, the words he had responded with that day coming much too easily to him. "I'm supposed to follow orders... I've been compromised."

He took a deep breath.

In...

Out.

He tried to open his eyes. Tried to look at the picture, to allow reality to come crashing down on him. But he couldn't.

Instead he found himself lost in his memories.

_"Rex... what happened here?"_

_He looked up, startled to see the familiar striking blue eyes staring him down. Clenching his jaw, he rubbed his eyes twice to make sure he was seeing this right and it wasn't just another cruel trick. It had to be._

_But each time his vision cleared, it was the same._

_His Jetii was back._

_Rex swallowed, reminding himself that Krell was gone. They were still on Umbara, Dogma had just executed Krell not five hours ago... but they didn't have to worry anymore. Their General was back._

_The mere presence of Anakin Skywalker should have been enough to reassure him, to ease his mind and make him believe everything would be okay again._

_So why did he feel like this?_

_Anakin pursed his lips as if pondering something before seizing a stool and dragging it up to the bench where Rex was sitting. They were all alone in one of the many rooms Kix had set up as temporary medical wings._

_Rex turned his face towards the door. He didn't want to look at his General. He didn't want to look him in the eyes and tell Skywalker how he had failed his men, how he had failed him. He didn't want Skywalker to see the tears he had fought so hard to keep in ever since it happened._

_He didn't want to face his General's utter disappointment._

_"Rex," Anakin said. His voice was soft and warm, the polar opposite of what Krell's had been. Rex could hear from Anakin's tone alone how much he worried about him, how much he cared about all the men in the 501st Legion. It was one of the many reasons Rex and his brothers held their General to such high esteem._

_"Please," Rex whispered. He flinched horribly, hating himself for sounding so incredibly pathetic. What was he doing - begging? That was unacceptable, it was humiliating-_

_"Are you alright?"_

_Rex stilled. "You... Sir, I haven't given the mission report yet." He risked a glance back at Skywalker, bewildered._

_Anakin's face was sad and grim, but also open and caring. His eyes settled on Rex, intense with an emotion Rex would describe as fierce compassion. "The mission needs to be discussed," the General agreed. "But you're more important. Your men are more important. Rex..." The clone captain had turned away again. "Rex, look at me."_

_Rex bit the insides of his cheeks, shaking his head. Tears were spilling down his cheeks now, an endless supply at last gushing freely. He couldn't let his Jetii - his General, he corrected himself - see him in this state. What would he think of him then?_

_He felt a gentle finger touch his chin, pausing as if asking permission. Rex allowed his General's hand to guide him so that they were face-to-face. All of a sudden it was so much harder to keep the tears back, to keep the grief and anger for what had just happened at bay. He had lost so many brothers..._

_Anakin looked at him sadly. "You're allowed to cry."_

_Rex shook his head at once. "I'm not supposed to feel this way, General," he stammered, furiously wiping away at his tears. Anakin retracted his hand to let him do so. "I'm supposed to follow orders... I've been compromised."_

_"Allowing yourself to feel isn't something to be ashamed of," Anakin told him. Rex found himself drawn back into his General's gaze once again. There was such sincerity in there... Rex knew Anakin meant every word of what he said. "You are supposed to feel this way because..."_

_"No," Rex whimpered, shaking his head softly. He needed Skywalker to stop saying these things, to stop showing that he cared. It just made Rex want to cry more both out of pain and sheer relief. No. He shook himself again. He couldn't show weakness, that wasn't what he was made for, he couldn't show weakness, he couldn't show weakness-_

_"You're human, Rex," Anakin said softly. "You and your brothers have always been human, you've always been so much more than numbers to me..."_

_Rex swallowed hard._

_Anakin took his hand, grasping it to show he was there no matter what._

_"You're family," Anakin said. Rex closed his eyes and drew in a shaky breath, hardly daring to admit to himself how much joy those two words inspired in him. "And... I'm so sorry I wasn't there."_

_Rex sobbed._

_Anakin smiled at him and leaned over to embrace him, not caring at all how wet his sleeves were getting with Rex's tears. He didn't say another word as Rex cried all his grief onto his shoulder, all his pain, all his sufferings..._

_His Jetii was there._

_"I'm so sorry, Rex."_

_"I failed you, General," Rex cried, his voice muffled with how hard he was pressing his face into Skywalker's robes. "I failed you... I couldn't stop him! I lost so many of our men and I-"_

_"It's not your fault," Anakin said, his voice taking on a slightly sharper edge. "None of this is your fault, Rex. You did the best that you could and I am so proud of you for that. I..." He faltered. Rex could have sworn he heard his General choking on his own emotions._

_Rex had once thought all Jetii were emotionless warriors. After meeting quite a few of them, that opinion had remained intact._

_Now, here was Skywalker, showing how vulnerable he was to Rex of all people - a clone. He was just as human as them. It made Rex smile genuinely for the first time in days._

_"I couldn't have asked for better..." Anakin got stuck on the word. Rex heard a few sniffles that he was sure he hadn't made._

_"Brothers," Rex finished quietly._

_Anakin's only reply was to hug him tighter. His body shuddered in what Rex suspected was a sob. It hadn't occurred to Rex how guilt-ridden his Jetii truly felt about this whole situation. He hadn't been there and he was taking it out on himself._

_The same way Rex did._

_"It's not your fault either, General," he said._

_Anakin didn't reply, but Rex got the feeling that he appreciated hearing it. Rex had needed someone to tell him that for days and when it finally came from his General's mouth... it had felt like an immense burden lifting from his shoulders. He only hoped it did the same for Anakin._

_"I will never leave you again," Anakin whispered. "I promise."_

_Rex squeezed his General tighter, not wanting to let go._

"Nor I you," he murmured, opening his eyes and blinking back tears. He didn't bother to wipe them away as he stared at the picture in front of him. Anakin, Ahsoka, and himself smiled back at him. It was so strange to see himself so happy.

He and Ahsoka had made it out of Order 66 alive. Anakin had not.

Rex hung his head. After all years of staying by his side, his General had left him. For good.

Skywalker had saved his life on more occasions than Rex could count.

When it really mattered, Rex hadn't been able to do the same in return.

_It's not your fault._

Rex laughed a little, his Jetii's voice crystal-clear in his mind. He didn't think it would ever really leave him. There wouldn't be a day he breathed where he forgot his General.

"I couldn't have asked for a better brother, either," Rex whispered. "Goodbye, General Skywalker."

He stood up and packed everything back into his bag, slinging it over his shoulder and turning on his heel to make the trek back to Wolffe and Gregor.

The sun vanished behind him, leaving a calm and peaceful night, the stars glistening above.

  
  



End file.
